If someone reports a concern to you, your response can make a critical difference.
DO:
- Listen calmly and without judgment.
- Believe the person, and thank them for sharing their concerns.
- Reassure them it’s not their fault.
- Remember that the individual may not view the behaviour as abusive.
- Consider the family situation. Are there others at risk? Your duty to report changes if a child is at risk, or if the situation involves an adult who is legally defined as an ‘adult at risk’.
- Remember that separation isn’t necessarily the end of the abuse. Statistics suggest that risk can heighten when a victim tries to end an abusive relationship.
- Remember that forensic timescales are relevant, particularly when it comes to sexual or physical abuse. Rather than exploring this with a victim yourself, it would be good to encourage contact with the Police, Rape Crisis, or a local Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC) or domestic abuse service as soon as possible.
- Remember your professional boundaries. Signposting quickly is crucial, but it is unhealthy for an individual to become reliant on you.
- Support the individual to contact services themselves, providing it is appropriate to do so, and that they have the capacity. Read more about capacity to make decisions here.
- Explain your duty to share information if someone’s safety is at risk.
- Follow safeguarding or referral procedures.
DO NOT:
- Attempt to investigate the situation yourself.
- Confront the abuser.
- Make promises you cannot keep, particularly involving confidentiality.
- React with shock or disbelief.
- Minimise or dismiss what they tell you.
- Pressure them to take specific actions.
Helpful phrases:
- ‘I’m really sorry this is happening to you.’
- ‘You’re not alone. Help is available.’
- ‘You can talk to me, and I can help you find support.’
How to support someone following a domestic abuse disclosure